no snow in the valley

"Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God – this is your spiritual act of worship. Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is – his good, pleasing and perfect will."

Romans 12:1-2

it snowed in the mountains last weekend..... but we didn't get any snow in the valley..... as you can clearly see in the picture.... however, it did rain all week... and when it rains it pours.... and hails........ a lot..... it's been probably the worst couple of weeks i can remember having ever, and it's taken all the strength that God has given me to get through...... but everytime i start feeling ok, something new happens, and i start feeling worse again..... i am full of anger and bitterness, and i don't know what use i am to God when all i feel is anger... i would much rather be with Him, and Jessi, and Arissa..... but for some reason i'm not, and all i can do is trust God to lead me through the torrential downpour, even when it seems unfair to have been led into it...... but here i am, dodging lightning bolts, and waiting for the tornado to lift me up and take me away to be with Jesus..... the hardest thing for me to do is trust Him, because i don't understand all that's going on right now...... but Proverbs says "Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding..." so that's what i'll do....... i'm gonna walk blindly with Him, and trust Him..... He's given me such strength the last two weeks... more strength than i thought was possible for this weak body to ever encompass....but He makes me walk on water in raging storms.... all i have to do is keep my eyes focused on Him and not on the storms surrounding me.... pray that i have continued strength to do this.... and pray that i will be released from the grip that this anger has on me....... i've been pretty mad before... but i don't think i've ever felt anger like i do right now, and i don't know how to handel it or how to get rid of it...... i can't get rid of it, but God can take it away from me if i give it to Him..... pray that i can let go of it.......... i don't know what God is doing in my life right now, but trust is a huge necessity..... pray that i will have a renewed faith and a renewed trust daily......

"Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer."

-Romans 12:12

that was yesterday... and get this! it snowed in the valley tonight!!!!! and it's still snowing! the snow is a reminder to me that God's love is unfailing, and it's not always gonna be rain and hail.... wow! i had a terrible weekend, and last nigt we broke the news to the girls that our laurel ridge family is separating.... it was sad... it was really hard, we all cried, and then we had a slumber party, and all slept in the living room in front of the fireplace..... it was a really great end to such a sad night.... and this morning abby and i decided we weren't going to let these kids or ourselves be depressed all day, so we declared december 13 "don't bend your knees day"... wow! we had so much fun! i don't think the 8 of us have laughed so much in one day the whole time we've been here! so tomorrow is "double speak day" and wednesday is "don't use your thumbs day"..... we're gonna make it through this, and we're gonna use the gift of laughter that God gave us to do it..... i still have all the same prayer needs, and i'm still struggling with anger, but i'll never forget that in my darkest hours, God sent snow to the valley.... and even though people don't always follow His will for their lives, even when it's as clear as daylight, and clearly laid out in the scriptures, He is unfailing, and works for the good of those who love Him.... what an awesome God!

thank you all for your love and support! they all say "never say never" but i will definitely NEVER forget how wonderful you all are and how much you've done for me!!! and i have no hesitation in using that word! i hope i get to see as many of you as i can this Christmas! i said i wasn't gonna send another e-mail, but apparently i lied...... and who knows what the next 4 days hold for me... wow, i feel like i've bombarded y'all with emails the last 2 weeks! this is crazy! (i'm being a yenta....) i love y'all!!

His,

Anna Kathryn

"I thank my God everytime I remember you.

In all my prayers for all of you, I always pray with joy."

-Philippians 1:3-4

"you and i... we will be ok..."

--corrie (in my cell as I AM WONDERFUL) i love you so much!!!

hmmm...

here's the situation:

my life at the ranch will be 100% different when i get back here from our 2 week christmas break.... my house parents are leaving, camile and elizabeth are moving to the other girls house, and laura and lensa are going elsewhere to learn "independant living skills" with a couple who works here, and abby and i will live at laurel ridge all by ourselves and probably do odd jobs around the ranch (filing, answering the phone, pastor wood's radio show.....) unless abby decides to go home... then i'll live here all by my lonesome..... and be a bitter old maid for the rest of the year, because not one, but all five of my girls have or are soon leaving me, plus my house parents..... the past two weeks have introduced a lot of change into our lives and have been really hard, but after christmas, i anticipate it getting harder..... i miss arissa..... i miss her hugs and her i love you's...... i miss everything about her, and there's nothing that i do here that isn't hard for me because she's not standing next to me and holding my hand.... walking back to the house by myself after devotions is the hardest thing to do... everytime i open my second drawer and see all of our science kit stuff and all the experiments we were going to do, i tear up.... it's really hard, and truly, the only comfort i have is knowing that she is safe now and happier than ever with our Lord...... after christmas, all the joy that i have left in this house will be gone..... except for my seperated at birth twin sister, abby, who hopefully will stay here..... i'm praying, firstly, that i won't remain bitter, and i'll accept this as God's will and surrender to Him, and secondly that they'll assign me as camile's mentor and i can teach her english and whatever else...... if that's what God wants me to do, then i'll be very pleased, if not, i'll work hard, and learn to love what He has me doing anyways..... camile needs some stability and that's something she's seen very little of since she's been here..... i'm worried the most about her, because she really has bonded with our house staff, and is now being moved out..... i agree with zero percent of what i heard in meetings today, but it's not about me and what i want to do.... it's about God and what He wants me to do and what is best for these kids...... i hate change, and i've accepted a lot of it the past few months, and it's been hard, but i'll continue to accept it and deal with it with the Lord's help..... i pray that the girls and our house parents can do the same, and somehow see the hand of God in everything that has happened since thanksgiving and is still happening..... please pray for continued strength for this house that's grown so strong together the last two weeks, and is about to be separated........ it's gonna be a really huge transition for the 8 of us, and we each need your prayers so badly...... so that's the situation..... this is probably the last e-mail i'll send before i leave here, so cherish it, and please pray that we will joyfully surrender to God's will without question or bitterness....... i hope i see you all while i'm home (except for my maconites..... you'll have your chance sooner or later....) i love y'all and i thank you soooooooo-------> much for loving me and being so supportive through your prayers for these kids and for me.....

His,

anna kathryn

"i thank my God everytime i remember you.

in all my prayers for all of you, i always pray with joy."

-phil. 1:3-4

fuzzy wuzzy cindy was a great caterpillar...

firstly, i am going to email each of you who i got a reply from back, but be patient, because there are a lot! and secondly, i want to thank each of you so much for being part of my life and for praying me through this.... GOD will get me through this.... He is getting me through it!

so many neat things happened the past couple of days in indiana, things that give me comfort and things that reassure me that i have a purpose here... i've really been feeling useless this week since arissa was my day and night.... we were two peas in a pod... when you saw one of us, you knew your were about to see the other one.... without her here, i really don't feel like i have much of a job... i just don't have anything to do... so that reassurance was much needed!

here are a few things that happened:

*"Let's prayer." -Arissa

*"I like when we prayer together." -Arissa

*tucking arissa in one night after we prayed: arissa: "do you think God is amazing?" me: "yeah, i do..." arissa: "i do too.... and miss anna kathryn?" me: "yeah?" arissa: "i think you're amazing too..."

*Arissa: "And God, thank you for Miss Anna Kathryn, because she really is in my heart... and so are you... but not satan... and God, just crush satan right now, so that no one will go to him anymore, and everyone will come to you..."

*Arissa: "Do you think God cares if we repeat things sometimes when we pray?"

Me: "Not at all..."

Arissa: "Good... Because everytime we pray together I'm always gonna start like 'Dear God, thank you that we get to spend this time together.'"

arissa and i used to pray together every night..... i started and she closed........ these were definitely the most precious moments i spent with arissa every day, and probably the most precious moments i spent with God.... everynight i saw that child growing closer and closer to her Creator.... in the beginning she basically just repeated what i said, but after a little while she started really talking to God from her heart, and asking me questions afterwards..... she was so thankful and so loving and there was no doubt that she loved Jesus Christ and that she loved me... when she got home for thanksgiving break, her grandmother asked her what she has learned since she's been here and she said: "what i've learned most is really how to pray."

now..... as many of you know..... i'm not typically one to pray outloud in front of anyone ever..... but God doesn't care what our weaknesses are, because He can break those barriers and work through us anyways! and He taught that beautiful child to love Him and to share that love with Him, and used somebody who never in a million years would have imagined being used that way! how incredible! i am so greatful that He chose me as one of His tools in helping Arissa learn this!

*Dr. Pardue: "Are you likin' it over there at the ranch?"

Arissa: "Huh? Lichen? Are you talking about botany?" a proud moment for a botany teacher!!

if you recall, i also felt that teaching botany was a huge weakness, and something i was terrible at.... but wednesday night, arissa's grandmother took us to see her room, and while we were there, she said "one of the first things arissa said to me when she got back was 'grandma, i LOVE science! we're learning botany, and that's the study of plants, and did you know that moss is a nonvascular plant, because it doesn't have tubes to carry the water?' and went on and on about botany!" wow! another barrier! and you know what.... i am SO scared of having a different student to teach, because the only options are middle school english and history or high school english and history, and while i LOVE the girls and am thrilled to be one of their "mentors" (teachers), i do not so much love english or history, and am not so thrilled to teach either..... but arissa, in those comments to her grandmother, showed me the power of God to give me the ability to do something i don't think i can do..... and who knows, maybe God put an english teacher somewhere inside of me..... i did learn from the best (coach moore! ...does this mean i get the flying frog? haha)

*arissa runs down stairs at 7:15 am, with her red sweat pants on and entirely TOO much energy for that early!! "miss anna kathryn! i have 5 shirts on! two tee shirts, my purple sweater, my red sweat shirt, and a jacket!" this happened at least 3 times a week!!

at the visitation, arissa was so made up, and in such a grown up outfit.... you wouldn't know it was the same kid..... she looked so serious and that's so not her! and you know what, it was a HUGE comfort to me to see her like that, because it made it so so so clear to me that that body was not her! it was her body, her shell.... it contained none of her liveliness or her personality, or her soul.... if it did, she would have had on red sweat pants, a funny face, and been giving me a knubbies up..... Arissa is with Jesus! her body is in the ground in laporte, indiana, but she is with her Father, and everything i love about her is not dead and buried! it's relocated, and my only comfort comes in knowing that i will be reunited with that amazing child again! maybe not tomorrow or the next day, and that's the hard part, because i miss her so much, but i'm certain that i will see her again! and she'll be even happier and bouncier than when she was here, because she will have nothing to fear, and nothing to be sad about! that body, as beautiful as it was, was not my arissa......

one of our songs here at laurel ridge is 'go light your world'... a song about spreading the gospel to unbelievers...... one that we listen to over and over and over again, because it's a beautiful song.... now... the main girls who to my previous knowledge loved this song so much were camile and laura.... arissa usually belted out 'come, now is the time to worship' or 'agnus dei' while she was in the shower instead... but at her funeral, the song that her grandmother chose to play, because arissa loved it and sang it so much when she was home, was 'go light your world.' we had no idea she loved that song so much! but it makes sense, because even in her death, God continues to use her to spread knowledge of His love to people who have no idea.... i already know of one little boy who accepted Christ this week because he knew arissa, and he knows she's with the Lord right now! my prayer is that so many more, in indiana and beyond, will see His glory through her life and her death, and come to know Jesus Christ as well....

here's something neat, and light........

the first field trip we went on this year was to an apple orchard..... i'm pretty sure the first time i've ever been to one..... and while we were there, we had a funeral for a caterpillar.... fuzzy wuzzy cindy..... and as arissa was very intricately building the gravesite, the conversation went like this :

arissa: "she was a great pet...."

emily: "why don't we go around and each say what we loved most about fuzzy wuzzy cindy..."

me: "fuzzy wuzzy cindy was a great caterpillar.... i'll really miss her.... that journey from indiana to east tennesse.... wow..... etc............"

i have a great picture of her sitting next to fuzzy wuzzy cindy's gravesite, and holding her microphone (or stick, which i also have in my room....)

the second time i went to an apple orchard was thursday morning... and there was a funeral there too..... because the cemetary that arissa was buried in is in the middle of an apple orchard! i can't wait to go back there, and use that same "microphone" and say what i loved most about her!

it was really great for me to go to indiana... there were a couple of negative things that came up, but they just made me happier for her that she doesn't have to live on this dangerous and scary earth ever again.... and i feel so much more at peace.... i'm still sad, because i loved that little girl so much, and i always will... day to day life will still be hard without her here, because everytime i walk by her door, i see an empty room, and i remember how much i miss her... i'm still gonna cry, and i'm still gonna feel a huge void... but i'm gaining strength everyday.... GOD is giving me more and more..... i'm gonna hold onto Him in this scary and hard time, just like arissa held onto His word in her last moments on this earth..... He took her from her fear and pain and into His arms, and I know He'll hold me too, and get me through this..... you guys are amazing, and i love you so much for praying for me and my ranch family and arissa's family.... this e-mail is incredibly long, but i'm so encouraged, and just wanted y'all to know that, and to know that you had a hand in that.... i can't thank you enough! keep prayin for us as we move into a normal schedule monday morning without arissa... and i'll keep prayin for y'all, and thanking my God for putting you each in my life!

His,

anna kathryn

"I thank my God everytime I remember you;

in all my prayers for all of you, I always pray with joy."

-Philippians 1:3

my arissa

hey y'all... we just got back from indiana a few minutes ago, and i should really be asleep in my bed already, but i wanted to share this pretty cool story with you....

arissa's grandmom, becky, told us she put arissa's bible in the bottom of her bag and put her bag in the trunk.... but the only way that the police officer could identify her when he got to the scene was because her name was written on the inside of her bible which was clasped in her hands! evidently she asked her jaja to get it for her somewhere along the way... praise the Lord! could He make it any more clear to us that she is resting in His arms right now!?

i have a lot to say, and i'll get to it in another e-mail, but that was definitely the most moving and comforting story i heard on the trip! we serve an amazing God, y'all, and my arissa is with Him right now! what a lucky girl!

i gotta quit typing and go to sleep before the tears start, but i love y'all so much, and THANK YOU for your prayers! i felt them so much the past 44 hours.... keep it up, and i'll pump another email out soon....

His,

anna kathryn

...she really is in my heart

"...and God, thank you for Miss Anna Kathryn,

because she really is in my heart...

and so are You!"

-Arissa

I don't have a lot to say in this e-mail but to just ask for your prayers.... for me, for my ranch family, and for Arissa's family. Arissa, our ten year old, got in a car with her grandfather Sunday to come back to the ranch, but didn't end up here, instead they drove all the way to heaven to be with their Father... How wonderful for both of them! PRAISE GOD that child will never have to suffer another day on this earth the way she did for 10 years! "God will wipe every tear from her eyes!" (Rev. 7:17) I couldn't be happier for her!

But I don't think I could be any sadder either..... The house is quiet... The whole ranch seems empty without her. She was, without a doubt, the joy of everyday for me, and for so many others here... I went into her room earlier and closed the door... I sat where I used to sit everynight when I tucked her in and prayed with her... and I cried...... I cried to God and asked Him to give me strength to live and work here without her..... strength to be able to encourage and comfort the other kids through this, even while I'm struggling so much.... I haven't found that strength yet, but please pray for me, with me, as I try to make it through this.....

The ranch is not empty, and I know that, because the Holy Spirit fills every inch and every crevace here! and PRAISE GOD that He gave us three months to spend with Arissa, and for her to grow to know Him and to love Him more! There's a void in my heart right now, but the void would be greater had I never known her, and I'm so blessed to have had that opportunity! It's amazing the impact that tiny, hyperactive 10 year old had on my life after only 3 months, but I loved her so much! And she is in my heart too, even though it's broken and hurting right now... But I'm certain that she's walking with the Lord right now.... giving Him high grabs, saying "blu blu"** and singing 'down at the beach' to Him, and that brings me so much joy!

Many of us at the ranch are leaving Wednesday morning at 6 to make the 9 hour bus drive to Indiana to see Arissa one last time on this earth. Please keep us in your prayers as we make this trip, and as we mourn the loss of our angel. This is Camile's second funeral in 9 days... She got home last week to the news that a friend of hers died at 14 years old, and when she got back here, she found out about this.

Y'all, I know you do, but especially now, please just pray for us without ceasing... I don't know how to be here without her... She was my everyday, she was what I did, my constant happiness, and she's gone..... As great as I know this is for her, the HUGE selfish part of me misses her so much and wants to shut down... but I've GOT TO FIND THE STRENGTH to keep going, if not for me, for these amazing kids! And they've got to find it too, and see it in the people surrounding them...

All I planned to do in this e-mail was ask for your prayers, but I ended up pouring my heart out.... Once I get goin.......... I love you guys so much! Thank you for praying for me and my girls, and all of these great kids! It's gonna be a hard few weeks before Christmas break, but I know that God can get us through it.....

His,

Anna Kathryn

"I thank my God everytime I remember you.

In all my prayers for all of you, I always pray with joy."

-Philippians 1:3-4

Arissa: "Do you think God cares if we repeat things sometimes when we pray?"

Me: "Not at all..."

Arissa: "Good... Because everytime we pray together I'm always gonna start like 'Dear God, thank you that we get to spend this time together.'"

Thank you, God, that we got to spend so much time together!

** our secret language for "I love you!"

change is a positive thing...

"I pray that out of His glorious riches, He may strengthen you with power through His spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge - that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God."

Ephesians 3:16-19

wow! it's been a while! i'll be sure to make this a long one to make up for lost time....

i knew that things were gonna change when I got here, but, WOW! i didn't realize the extent to which they would! this is crazy! no, i'm still not using correct punctuation, but here's a list of some major changes God has made in my life in the past 10 weeks:

i cook!!!! but i can clearly see why i shouldn't...... but i do, at least once a week! so that is a step forward!

i'm considering botany as a career option... (JK!)

my room has been clean (by my standards) for 10 consecutive weeks!

as opposed to sleeping or something else that requires no movement, in my spare time (which is RARE) i crochet and memorize scripture (current project: scarf for a secret person and sermon on the mount)... and let me tell you, that requires ALOT of attention span! BIG change!

my 1:00 hour no longer revolves around Days of Our Lives! It revolves around REST TIME! that one hour of rest that we have every day... wow! definitely still the best 60 minutes of the day!

i no longer get an average of 3-4 hours of sleep every night and 3-4 hours of sleep every day.... i get a solid 8-9 hours every night! i'm in bed between 10:30 and 11:30 and up between 7 and 8! wow! who knew that such a drastic change was even possible!

movement is great! i do it ALL DAY LONG!

and more than anything else, God has made me realize how intricate and presice His plan is, and i have grown to trust Him and His every move so much more, and continue to every day.... i was sitting in this Bible study all of the interns are doing and we were going around talking about why we decided to come here.... and i sat there listening and just totally taking in how each of us were brought here, all from different circumstances and parts of the country, all at the very same moment, and for different reasons, and some of the same reasons.... it amazes me how God worked differently in each of our lives to gather us all here at the same time, with each of the particular kids in the houses that they were placed in with the house parents they were given... He is doing amazing things here.... i constantly thank Him for blessing me by putting these kids in my life, for whatever reason... one of my girls led devotions tonight, and it's just so awesome to see the change in her from when she got here about 7 weeks ago, and was crying every night and didn't understand why she had to be here away from her mom, to where she is now, totally leaning on God and trusting Him! wow! You are so amazing, God! So... while i don't know, or always understand what's going on and why, i've learned to just close my eyes and remember, God has a plan, trust Him and wait.........

and in the midst of all of these good changes, there is but one sad change: the time has come to say goodbye to an old anna kathrynism... the goal is to completely delete "I know right" from my vocabulary by..... tomorrow.... SAD, i know..... but it's all i hear anymore.... the mockery is too much to handle, and really, i'm just sorta tired of hearing it... it doesn't really make sense anyways.... i know, right.... what does that mean? if vu were here i'd ask him, since he started it all those years ago in mr. emery's classroom... probably in the midst of making that terrifying 2 foot tall vase thing, or that nice jewelry set..... wow... those were the days.... "i know right"... you'll be missed...

anyways...... i love you guys! i really have some amazing people in my life! i cannot believe how truly blessed i am! thank you for your prayers, and as always, if you need anything, i'm happy to pray for you, with you, or talk to you anytime on the weekends or between 1 and 2 on weekdays... your support and prayers mean so much to me! thank you!!! i love y'all!!

here are some prayers requests..... just 2: next tuesday my house is driving to florida for 4 days..... safety! and when i return, i'll have a new roommate.... goodbye emily #4... she'll be at the ranch, just not at laurel ridge (my house) so pray that i'll be accepting and excited about this change of roommates, and not sad about the loss of one..... the good news is that i'll no longer be the only intern at laurel ridge, which will be extremely helpful! thank you, God!

is this email shorter? wow! (probably not... you know they just keep going....) keep sendin me letters, y'all! 3601 lyon springs rd. sevierville, tn 37862 (hint hint) i know i'm not too quick to respond, but give it time....

God bless you all!

--anna kathryn

"I thank my God every time I remember you.

In all my prayers for all of you, I always pray with joy."

Philippians 1:3-4

ps- thank you, rachel doss, for extending the life of my earring changing to 6 more days instead of 3! excluding saturdays and sundays, i still have not yet worn the same pair of earrings twice since i've been here!! i love you, b, you rock my face off! (in the ghetto...... in the ghetto!!)

2 pictures this time!:

my beautiful back yard....

on a hike...... first row to last row, left to right: 1- zachary(7), peter(9), arissa(10), laura(18) -2- shakia(11), quavi(9), cory(9) -3- shabre(10), me(21), zach(12), tara(13) -4- emily (intern), lensa(19) -5- ben (intern), camile(13), ashley(13) -6- elizabeth(13)

and speaking of pictures, the intern picture is definitely on the webpage now!! how exciting!!

http://www.wvr.org/pages/interns.html

and you guys should also click here

http://www.wvr.org/pages/oct_nwsltr.pdf

and look at the newsletter for october/november!! so great!

this email is never ending.... here are some more great quotes......:

*"Do you do any jazz or interpretive dancing?" -elizabeth... HA!

*"So... i'm on the internet the other day, checkin up on what webpages the girls are lookin at... and i run across this 'marlena.com'....." -james (my house dad)

*tucking arissa in one night after we prayed: arissa: "do you think God is amazing?" me: "yeah, i do..." arissa: "i do too.... and miss anna kathryn?" me: "yeah?" arissa: "i think you're amazing too..." aaawwwwwww!! i think i'm gonna cry!!

*"I almost bought you a birthday card the other day that had an hourglass on the inside that had actual sand in it! i could just see you opening it and saying 'like sands through the hourglass!!'" -marilee (house mom at oak rise)

*"Today's church! I have to study E-fusions!" -arissa

*in an email i got from camile tonight: "YOU SO TOTALLY ROCK MY FACE OFF!!!"

*"You are not allowed to eat your Bible!" -me... in complete seriousness...

*"I havent been watching long enough to know if i should want belle and philip together or belle and shawn, so you just tell me...." -marliee... hahaha!!! emily b., i know you're upset....

a four pack of double a's...

"Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal."

2 Corinthians 4:16-18

what a crazy roller coaster ride! for real b! i'm glad i wrote the last email before the next week started!! hahaha anyways, get ready... when i said be expecting another novel in your inbox, i wasn't lying.....

i've learned another three important lessons since my last email:

#1 - some people (coach moore, mr. emery, dr. sheehy, ms. barret, the fischs, mrs. johnson, dr. flaming, ms. bradford and miss miller [brooke]) are blessed with the gift of teaching, and y'all do an AMAZING job! but, unfortunately, some people just.... aren't.... i think i'm probably one of those people.... i'm trying to teach arissa language arts and a class on botany... it's pretty hard to teach something you don't know... haha so we're learning together... i guess it's going alright, but i definitely wouldn't place myself in the same category as the above mentioned!! she's so smart though, and what better place than this to teach a child botany! we have a lesson everyday walking to devotions, the school and lunch.... how fun!

#2 - everyday will not continue to be progressively better than the last... it truly is a rollercoaster ride! i asked my houseparents for feedback a couple weeks ago, and after being told i can't be friends with the girls, i sorta lost touch with the Lord and was a little over focused on how difficult that concept was for me to grasp..... however, i've come to learn that that doesnt mean i have to be mean, or that the girls won't like me, or that God won't use me in their lives... it just means that i'm their authority.... not their best friend... and i think i'm ok with that.... but it definitely had a rough impact on the week before last! and, man! those days of our lives withdrawals are gettin worse everyday! hahaha just kidding..... (not really)

#3 - God can use something as small as a 4 pack of double a's to remind us of how amazing and powerful He is, and to keep the faith! crazy how i'm standing on the top of a mountain in the midst of this amazing sunset, and i see the greatest display of God's power that i've clearly recognized and acknowledged in awhile in a small gift to one of my girls from a stranger who said "what is it the good Lord said? we might be entertaining angels......" sometimes we lose sight of how powerful our Lord really is! my problem week before last was a lack of faith... faith that God would give me the ability to be a "strict" authority... faith that God would help me deal with a hyperactive 10 year old... faith that God would give me the skills necessary to teach botany! faith that i can live without 'days'..... hahaha the list goes on....... i was praying for patience, but what i should have been praying for was a renewed faith that God will "never leave me nor forsake me..." He reminded me through that stranger and his four pack of double a's.... God has put me in this position for a reason, and i know that He has the power to get me through each moment...

and when i'm forgetting that... each of my girls is quick to remind me!! they are so amazing and i love them all soooo much! God has really given me 5 very different, but equally wonderful girls to work and live with here!!

* arissa is continually the greatest and the most difficult part of each of my days here... but she makes it all worth it for me when, even in a fit of rage, she'll grab my hand and look up at me and say "i love you."

* camile and i.... we're on the same wave length... which is great, i'm constantly laughing!! she is always having new revelations about the Lord... it's truly inspiring, i can see God working so hard in her life everyday!

* lensa is a breath of fresh air! after a loong day, her calmness and sweet heart are the greatest wind down i could ask for...

* elizabeth is brand new to us! she's been here for 9 months, but just moved over here from the other girls house last tuesday.... she is always ready to give me a big hug, which is such a blessing everyday!

* laura keeps me entertained with her training the cats to sit, and all of her crazy animal stories! she's a great kid and so full of encouragement and energy..... which are both things you need a lot of here!!

I love these kids, and i am so thankful that they are in my life.... I never cease to be amazed by my awesome God! thanks again, y'all, for your prayers! they are greatly appreciated! Please continue to pray for me on this journey, in my personal growth and in my time with these kids...

so... this is pretty long too... it's pretty much useless..... i give up........

but i love all of you and hope to hear from each of you at some point! thanks, everyone, for your emails and letters and calls! they all mean so much to me! i miss y'all soooo much!

--anna kathyrn

ps - my picture is on the webpage!! or, maybe it's not right now, but it will be in the next couple days!!! click here to see it -->> http://www.wvr.org/pages/interns.html

and speaking of pictures, i attached one of camile, lensa and laura... it's pretty much my favorite picture of all time....

pss - congrats, corrie, on your engagement! i love you!!!

"I thank my God everytime I remember you.

In all my prayers for all of you, I always pray with joy."

Philippians 1:3-4

...................and there's more

here are some short stories and things that have been said by me, to me, or in my presence that some of you might find humorous:

*"that's inappropriate!" -me

*i bungee jumped!!!

*"let's go girls! we've only gone half a mile!" -me

*one of our cows gave birth last week... wow! the miracle of life!

*my girls are trying to play matchmaker with me... hahaha the other day camile said "y'all would be so cute at your next prom!!"

*"who wants to go to the rec center with me every morning at 6?" -michelle

*we've got a black bear and a peacock roaming the grounds! how crazy! i wonder if they're friends....

*scene: camile totally runs into the wall... laura: "there's a wall there!" WOW! all of the suddenly, i'm back in middle school again hangin out at gainesville video with my wonderful cousin... i almost said "what's your number?" member? what? oops...

*i opened the door to my room yesterday and was greeted with a booming "Like sands through the hourglass......." wow! that was a great moment!

*scene: the funeral for the caterpillar...

"she was a great pet...." -arissa

"why don't we go around and each say what we loved most about fuzzy wuzzy..." -emily

"fuzzy wuzzy was a great caterpillar.... i'll miss her.... the strength of a mountain lion! that journey from indiana to east tennesse.... wow.....etc............" -me

WOW!! all of the suddenly, i'm back in middle school (and high school.... oh, and college... ummm... and this past summer......) at the many funerals for my pets and road kill...... (and my home) too bad i didn't have any coke on hand...

*ps - i love you emily buffington! (and i love you too emily conner and emily mantooth!!)

week 2!!

"The Lord is near...

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God, and the peace of God, which transends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."

-Philippians 4:5b-7

week 3 starts in 1 hour and 5 minutes!!

i just had one of the most amazing weeks of my life... i wasnt going to write this for another week or so, but i'm so excited that i couldn't put it off any longer!!

here are the 3 most important lessons i've learned since i've been here:

physical activity is not always scary..... the most fun time i had this week was definitely the 1 1/2 hours that i spent playing tennis with 2 of my girls... we had so much fun!! i played tennis twice last week, and i played volleyball with the interns friday night!! and let me tell you, when i woke up saturday morning, my forearms were bruised and swollen and every muscle in my body ached!! hahaha i was like "is this normal?" they were like "no...." hahaha, but it was totally worth it.... i'm still a little bit scared... but not terrified like i was before!!! God answers even silly prayers!!

almost anybody you every meet named emily is gonna be great..... emily b., emily c., and emily m., y'all are three of the greatest people i know, and i truly thank my God everytime i remember each of you! the new addition is great! emily averitt, my new roomie, is definitely my best friend at the ranch! she totally fits right in with all of my emilys! in this world of change, God really has answered my prayers for a little bit of consistency, even if it is just in a name.... i can handle all the other changes.... my amazing kids, my beautiful home in the smokie mountains, my adventures in physical activity..... my God is so amazing!!

a broken car is NOTHING compared to a broken heart, a broken body, a broken spirit, or a broken family... but none of these is too small or too big for God's healing hand... thursday night, camile (13), one of the new girls in our house, knocked on my door crying at 11:30ish... i sat in the hall and talked to her for a little while until she was ready to try to go to sleep again.... she's so homesick, and she was certain that she couldn't stay here any longer... it broke my heart to see her that upset, so when she went to sleep, i wrote her a note w/ a few memories from the past couple days, and told her i thought the list needed to grow... i assured her that there are a lot of people praying for her, that God doesn't put us in situations that we can't handle, and that we all love her... friday night when i got home at 12ish, there was a note under my door.... it totally made my week, and probably every week from here on out.... so.... i wanted to share it with you....:

"Dear Mrs. Anna Kathryn,

I am sooo glad I have had the pleasure of getting to know you, it has been a fun roller coaster ride, but don't worry, we have a couple more months to go! Thank you for being there for me last night, I was having a very rough night. Thank you for giving me your shoulder to cry on, just like a 2nd mom, or a 5th older sister! I know staying at the ranch is going to be difficult for me since I'm away from my mom, but I know God has a purpose for me, and I gotta stick with it, cause if I don't I will miss out on a great blessing! I luv ya lots! Please keep me in your prayers!

Love, Camile"

wow! God is a miracle worker! i have seen his healing hand at work in my other girls too, whether in the 30 minutes i spent with Arissa (10) making fish faces at mikey (my fish), or seeing Lensa's excitement over her door decorations on her 19th birthday yesterday (which she was dreading!) He is surrounding this place, and hears all of your prayers... please keep my girls in your prayers: lensa, laura (18), camile, and arissa... they're all so amazing and i have a great new friend in each of them!

i have been blessed beyond all comprehension this past week... i am so excited to see what God has in store for us in the coming weeks and months! thank you so much for your continued prayers! i can feel them throughout the day! i love y'all so much, and can't wait to see you soon!!!

week 3 started about 50 minutes ago, so i better run... this email is once again, much longer than planned.... haha, i hope that's ok!! i really will try next time! :)

--anna kathryn

"I thank my God everytime I remember you.

In all my prayers for all of you, I always pray with joy."

-Philippians 1:3-4

ps.... sorry about the puctuation.... hahaha i was feeling rushed!!

pss.... i attached a picture from our trip to the aquarium saturday... it's just arissa and camille, but i'll have some pictures of laura and lensa soon!!

here are some things that i have said since i've been here that some of you might find humorous:

"we had so much fun at tennis today!!!"

"I think i'm gonna clean the bathroom and vacuum tomorrow..."

"wow! that was so fun! we should play that again!" (cranium!!)

"patience is a virtue..." (hahaha as opposed to "patience is a quality that few possess...")

me: "i know right!"

camile: "ok... you said that 4 times in that conversation.... 34 times today so far..."

me: "you're keeping a count? haha... maybe i should work on that...."

hi!

I have an address!!!

I am very excited because I got mail today!!!

So... if you, too, want to be a source of happiness in my life, you can send me something to this address:

Anna Kathryn Buffington

Wears Valley Ranch

3601 Lyon Springs Road

Sevierville, TN 37862

Or.... you can call me during the day, so I'll have voice messages to listen to at night time!! I definitely won't answer and I may not call back for a day or two, and definitely not before 10:00ish at night, but you'll have the satisfaction of knowing that you've made my day that much better!!

My cell is: 678-617-3929

Don't feel pressured!! hahaha... I know everybody is crazy busy with school or work or whatever else, but I've had several requests for this information, so there it is....

Thanks, y'all, again for your prayers and support!! I don't have time to go into a looong update right now, but you'll be sure to get one from me sometime soon! I have 3 brand new girls moving into the house tomorrow!! I am very excited!

I love you all, and hope to hear from you soon!!

--Anna Kathryn

"I thank my God everytime I remember you."

-Phil. 1:3

PS - Did I use mostly correct punctuation? hahaha

week one at wears valley ranch...

"Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus."

-Philippians 3:13b-14

it's been one week!!! ...and let me tell you, i am so ready for this week off!!! this place is so great though... the week started off rough, but everyday has gotten better and better.... the mountains are beautiful, the ranch is beautiful, and most of all, the kids are beautiful... i've only been here for a week, but every morning i wake up in awe of what the Lord is doing here.... the kids truly are amazing, they get me through each day... they're uplifting and encouraging and so eager to serve their Maker... it's inspiring... they remind me each day why i'm here... i already love every one of them with all of my heart.....

for now there are only 2 girls in my house, Lensa and Laura, and they're both 18, and so sweet!! they're very different though, it's been interesting... Lensa is from Ethiopia, so I told her about Yemi and we talked about Africa for a little while and then laughed at me when i went to take her to work, and walked into the bathroom looking for the house van instead of the garage... and we've been great friends ever since... haha.... she's really quiet though and it's hard to tell what she's thinking most of the time, but i think she's great... Laura has alot of personality... she's all over the place! we sat in the hallway upstairs the other day and went through each other's earring collections, and that was our milestone bonding moment... haha it was great.... my earrings have been a huge part of my getting to know these kids... i've worn different ones everyday and every morning at devotions the kids look to see what they look like.... shabre, one of the girls in another house, started calling me "loopy" yesterday, because i wore my really really big hoops... or that's why she told me she was calling me loopy... and today a little boy named corey who i hadn't talked to yet, came up to me and grabbed my earring and said "you wear different earrings everyday..." and we started talking... so... they have been a great tool in my acclimation process... haha who knew God would use my ridiculous earring collection for more than just decoration...?

the ranch is amazing, you should all come and visit... i'm surrounded by beautiful mountains, and there's so much to do here... i'm still getting used to the wildlife... haha i go to sleep to the sounds of cows and goats... and they're like actual cows and goats, not just animals that sound like cows and goats!! everytime i go outside, i find a new animal, it's crazy.... last night i was talking about the owl i heard that i thought was a horse at first.... and someone said "sometimes you hear the mountain lions..." that's right, em! the mountain lions! haha crazy... anyways......

when i come back next week i will have a brand new emily in my life.... so that makes 4... emily buffington, emily conner, emily mantooth, and emily averitt (i think...?) i havent met her yet, but she'll be my roommate until december... it's pretty crazy... i get a new emily for every stage in my life... it's great, i feel like God is tryin to give me a little consistency in a world of change.... haha

i have thus far successfully gotten out of rec twice every single day!!!! which is great! because i'm terrified of physical activity!! but i know that soon after i get back i'll be playin a lot of basketball and goin on 11 mile hikes all the time..... so.... we'll see how that goes...

right now my favorite part of the day is 2-4, when we do school... thats when i get to spend the most time with the kids, 1 on 1 or 2, and it's just really great quality time... i actually dug back to the ninth grade and was able to help lensa with geometry yesterday! i was amazed!!

God has blessed me tremendously since i've been here! it was definitely overwhelming at first, but is continually getting better, and i know that none of this would be possible without your prayers... thank you all so much! i'm goin home today and then am heading to columbus, macon and back to gainesville, so hopefully i will get to see most of you this week... if not, then you know you're in my thoughts and my prayers...

i said my next email wouldn't be long, but this definitely is!! i'm sorry, i'll try to do better next time...

thanks again y'all, i love you!

--anna kathryn

"I thank my God everytime I remember you.

In all my prayers for all of you, I always pray with joy."

-Philippians 1:3-4

ps... keep the phone calls and the emails comin!! it totally makes my day when i go outside at night and check my voice messages and i have like 8, or when i check my emails and have like 7..... and if i haven't returned a call or an email, it's not because i don't love you, it's because this place is crazy and i'm either busy or exhausted all the time!! but i promise i'll get back to you!

here are some things i've heard since i interviewed in june that some of you might find humorous:

"The kids are on an 11 mile hike with the interns..."

"Make sure you bring your bike..."

"I think we should play Cranium..."

"Will you say the prayer, Miss Anna Kathryn?"

"Just because you're quiet doesn't mean we won't pick on you..."

"Breakfast is at 8 tomorrow morning..."

"There's a big green bug in our hallway..."

haha, there are so many more..................

...life after Mercer

8 hours from the big move!!!!

most of you know where i'm going and what i'm doing this year, but for those of you who don't, i'm moving to the great state of tennessee tomorrow morning!! i'm havin a hard time sounding excited right now, but deep down inside there is a snid-bit (em!) of excitement and anticipation... i wanted to send this e-mail to ask you to pray for me while i'm in tennessee this year... it's gonna be a tough year, but i know that this is where God wants me right now, and i think i'm gonna grow up a lot while i'm there... but it's definitely going to take a lot of prayers and support from my family and friends to get me there!!

firstly, wears valley ranch (www.wvr.org) is a children's home in sevierville, tn that emily mantooth's mom told me about... i went for an interview this summer and they hired me on the spot... i prayed about it and truly feel that God has given me this amazing opportunity to work with children, age 8-18, from so many different family situations that i really wont go into right now, but mostly abusive or drug addicted parents... so sad! my first prayer request would be that God uses me some way in each of these kids lives... it breaks my heart to see a child hurting... i know that i will be surrounded by hurting children with so many "why?" questions, and searching for answers... hopefully these kids will find comfort in God through myself and the other staff members at wears valley this year...

secondly... 78 cents/hour... it's gonna be tough... thats like $12/day... room and board paid for, but it's gonna be hard... we're praying that my student loans get deferred/forgiven, and that my car keeps running.... however, i know that God will provide either way...

thirdly, it's silly, but if you went to college with me and especially if you ever lived with me, you will understand... my day: 7:00 am, wake up!!! wow.... i probably have only woken up that early once or twice in my whole life!!! really, wow... in college, the only reason i ever got to my early classes (before noon) was because emily mantooth woke me up three times every morning... i can do it, but it's gonna take some definite work and getting used to...

next... my days are PACKED! i'm an intern, and i'll live in a house w/ another intern and 8 girls, age 8-18, and a set of house parents... throughout the day, i'll help w/ the kids home schooling and do recreation with them... HA! again, if you know me well enough, you know this, but i'll clarify anyways: that's funny because, when my interviewer asked me what type of sports or other activies i've been involved in that i could lead, i thought to myself "wow... pretty much anything that requires, um... movement... i haven't done.... ever..." and laughed... but in real life i said "not too many, but i can learn..." so while i'm willing and excited to learn how to not be so lazy, i'm also praying hard for endurance and continued excitement, because when i went by and the kids were on an 11 mile hike, i was havin a hard time being excited about it... i'm praying for endurance throughout the day, not only during recreation, because i'll be busy from the moment i wake up to when all the girls are asleep (10:00ish... wow!)...

but hey, i'll get used to it all, i'll make some great friends and i'll come out of this year with great memories and great experience and ready to jump head first into God's next adventure for me... i know that He wouldn't have put me in this place if He didn't know i can do it... and He'll get me though it!

thank you all ahead of time for your thoughts and prayers... they are already SO greatly appreciated!! you guys are all awesome and i never ever would have made it to this point in my life without each of you... i love you all so much!!

i don't know what the time thing will be like when i'm there, but i'm gonna definitely keep in touch and try to send out e-mails every so often so you guys can know whats goin on and what God's doin in the kids lives and in my life... following e-mails will definitely not be this long!! but if you don't want them, then let me know, i'll mark you off of my list of people i like... (jk... jk) but really... and also... this is crazy, but there's a chance that i could send out some actual letters... like in the mail... i've always been to lazy to, you know, lick the stamp... walk to the mail box... put the flag up... you know, all that stuff that requires more movement than just this one hand on a keyboard... but since we're tryin to get over the 'lazy' thing, we'll see... so gimme the address if you want that... when i know what mine is, i'll let you know...

thanks again, y'all..... you guys rock my face off!!! i love you!!!

i hope you're all doing well!! keep me updated... let me know how things are goin for y'all and how i can pray for you if needed... each of you have played different but SUCH important roles in my life and God has truly blessed me... wow! how amazing!

i love y'all!

--anna kathryn

"I thank my God everytime I remember you..."

--Phil. 1:3