"Rather than surrender to an uncontrollable God who made us and trust Him during the ups and downs of relationships (or life), we take control by directing the energy of our hearts in ways that allow us to feel as though we're at the steering wheel of our own lives."
-Sharon Hersh, Brave Hearts
I was driving to the mountains a few weeks ago for this amazing celebration of love, when I found myself talking to Arelius, we'll call him Al... It was at that moment when I made the observation that some days, more than I would like to admit, I talk to the voices in my GPS more than I talk to God, my Savior and my best friend.... and not even just that, but there are days that I depend more on the voices in my GPS as they navigate me to where ever I'm going than I depend on God as He navigates me through my life and through all the situations I encounter everyday...
I've seen God do a lot in my life and in the lives of people all around me throughout my whole life... In these past couple of months, however, I've become strangely but completely oblivious to most of it... Maybe I've disconnected myself from God to an extent... Maybe I've become too concerned with worldly things, and less with my God who created me...
I've become hugely aware recently of the reality of the enemy's presence... Paul tells the Ephesians, "Do not give the devil a foothold." I know from personal experience that when you give him a foothold, he will run all over you... I've seen it in my kids at school, I've seen it in my friends and relatives and I've seen it in myself... In the midst of it all, I've found myself feeling so lost... and I've just figured out why!
It's so clear, I write about it in almost every e-mail... It's a total trust issue... When I find myself trusting and depending on my inanimate friend Al who speaks "mechanical" more than I trust and depend on my God, I've got a pretty intense problem... When I depend on the world and my own abilities to figure things out and solve problems, instead of trusting God to take care of it all, I've got an even bigger problem... That's one of the many footholds the enemy looks for, and he latches onto it when he finds it and will continue to tell us we can do it on our own for as long as we'll listen....
And for some reason we keep listening... But we can't do it on our own... I know I can't, I never could and I never will be able to... It's just like dancing for me... I've never tried it, I'm not going to, and it's always worked out really well for me, so why do I keep trying to take on this real world important stuff?
I jumped out of an airplane last week... It was my first jump in a couple years, but my fourth jump in all... It was amazing, we did backflips and we landed half a mile away from the airport! One day I'd really like to be certified and I'll jump for as long as I can... A lot of people asked me before this past jump "Why?"
"Why jump out of a perfectly good airplane?"
That's so unoriginal... because it's fun! Maybe if there wasn't a
parachute, that would be a logical question, but there is...
Easy answer...
"If people were supposed to fly, God would have given us wings..."
Oh come on... We're not trying to fly... we're trying to fall...
you don't need wings to fall, people.... just weight and open air,
both of which God has given us plenty....
"Why tempt fate?"
If I believed in that concept, maybe then you would have a point...
but I don't... aren't we all here until God's ready to take us home?
"Aren't you scared?"
No, and here's why...
When I fall out of that airplane at 120 m/hr, I'm in a position of total trust... There's nothing else I can do besides trust... It has absolutely nothing to do with myself, my tandem instructor, or even the parachute packer... According to the statistics, it's extremely likely I'll make it down ok... And according to the statistics, I'm much more likely to make it to the ground ok than I am to make it home in my car ok... But the statistics don't mean a thing... The truth is, in both of those situations and in every other situation, the direction of our lives is completely in God's hands... and when I'm out in that open air, falling, doing spins, whatever, and there's nothing blocking my view of His beautiful creation from 2 1/2 miles up, I'm made so fully aware of the greatness of my God, and of His total control over the outcome of this situation... Nothing beats that feeling... the feeling of total rest in God's hands... total contentment with His plan... total trust and dependence on Him to do with me and my life as He pleases... There's nothing better, and I think it's something everyone should experience in their lives... but I know it's not for everyone, it's a pretty extreme reminder!!
Anyways, it was in that fast moment that I figured all of this out... Where has my mind been? Where has my trust and dependency been? On myself? HA! I've gotta make some changes... I can't do a single thing at the school or anywhere with that mindset!
...And that's my prayer, that I can make every single moment of my life a 120 mile an hour leap into the hands of God, and I would challenge each of you to do the same thing... It's quite a freeing experience!
Especially at the school, which always has it's hard times and sad times, but God is so great, and we get through them all... I love every second of my time there, and I'm so blessed to get to hang out with those kids! Thank you, thank you, thank you all so much for your prayers for us out there! We feel them every day and in every situation!
Y'all are wonderful, and I feel unbelievably blessed to know each of you! Keep the prayers comin', God hears them all and we're seeing some great things happen in those kid's lives!! Thanks again, I love y'all and appreciate each of you so much!
His,
Anna Kathryn
"I thank my God everytime I remember you,
in all my prayers for all of you, I always pray with joy!"
Philippians 1:3&4
I've had a lack of funny stories for awhile... it's not because they don't happen, because I laugh A LOT everyday... It's so hard to put those moments into words though, you really have to be there and know the kids... but I'll try to express some of the greatness surrounding this earthworm project we did with the middle school classes... There were three groups per classroom and about three students in each group... They each had a jar of dirt and an earthworm... The first task was naming the earthworms...
Wormy, Dude, Bob the Billy, Timmy, Precious, Zachariah (the most loved worm of all)... Those were just a few of the names...
Then came a great moment in the last class of the day... Two groups still deliberating over what to call there worms...
One student exclaims, "Buffy! We're calling ours Buffy!!" and looked at me in such excitement...
A student from another group, who had originally coined that nickname for me responds with a huge smile and a lot of laughter, "We're naming ours Buffy too!!!"
So at the end of the day, I had two earthworms named after me.... it feels good, haha....
We found Zachariah's main caretaker, a real 'tough guy' with a previously unknown soft side, talking to his worm a lot... One day some of the kids were talking about squishing their worms, and he said with such passion, "Whatever you do, please don't squish little Zachariah!"
A day or two later we added a worm or two to all of the jars, and when we told the groups, little Zachariah's owner was so upset, "Now how will we know which one is Zachariah??"
And when we finally went down to the lake to set the worms free, we were all astonished to hear: "Can we put Zachariah on a hook and go fishing?"
Well... I know it's not much, but it's all I have... I started to type two other stories, but they just weren't funny typed out so I erased them.... Oh well... I'll start jotting down the one-liners that keep us laughing everyday... it'll be fun...
