NOT the enemy

Have I mentioned how much I love Mercy's birth story? It's one of my all time favorite stories to share and think about. Sometimes I cry when I go back there and I even love those tears.

Here's a quick catch up:
Mid-December, 2012 I developed a liver disease that affects 1 out of 1,000 pregnant woman. It causes severe itching and can cause preterm labor and even stillbirth after 36 weeks. I was officially diagnosed in early January and began weekly visits to the hospital for monitoring. Everything was normal. Until it wasn't one day. On January 18, my blood pressure was crazy. I wish I could remember the numbers. NOT good. It was ok, they said, they were just going to figure some things out while I went downstairs for the ultrasound. NOT good. Zero amniotic fluid. NONE. The doctor was called. They said get here in two hours and he said he would be here in twenty minutes. This was serious. I was having a baby. Quick. And early. Ten weeks early.

I love it, y'all. Every detail of it. And I wish I could share every detail here because it was such an amazing and miraculous month leading up to these moments. The moments of her perfectly indescribable and beautifully ordained birth, via cesarean section.

The details... the surprise. The fear. The drugs. The medical staff. The way my husband held my hand and looked into my eyes with such confidence and love as the doctor brought our daughter painlessly and peacefully into the world. The quiet peep she made. The tears (mine) that ensued. The first time I laid eyes on her and fell so hard for her little two pound frame.

She came into the world peacefully, and those 30 minutes of painless {drugged up} anticipation before we heard her voice and saw her face were absolutely incredible. I remember every second like it was this morning. No doubt, this was how she was meant to enter our lives. Early, precious and perfect.

I remember being asked by a good friend early on in the pregnancy how I planned to deliver and being very confident about my answer: "However it ends up happening."

I explained that if I could deliver naturally, I'd do it, but that I was NOT against drugs if the pain was too much. And I'm a wimp. If I needed a c-section, I was ready and would not hesitate. My experience was not the priority. My child was.

When I was diagnosed with cholestasis of pregnancy, I was told we could try to induce 4-5 weeks early, but it would probably be wise to go ahead and schedule a c-section since this was my first and it would be so early. I began planning for the section, and I felt good about it.

C-sections get a bad rap...
I'm here to tell you, they are not the enemy. For Mercy and many other babies, they are the exact opposite of the enemy, they are the savior.

Did I plan on having a c-section? Not really, not at first anyway...

Was I devastated that it happened? Not at all.

Was it 'normal?' I don't know that I think childbirth in any form should be labeled 'normal.' After all, a living human is being brought out of our bodies, which is miraculous and amazing in every way. So, normal? Um, no.

Natural? If 'natural' is only an appropriate word to use for childbirth when drugs are not involved, then I guess my answer here has to be no as well...

Exactly as it was meant to be? Absolutely, yes!

Friends, please be cautious when talking about childbirth. The birth shaming is NOT acceptable. I am not usually easily offended, but find myself hurting and cringing a little when I hear others share how their 'normal' birth was the most incredible, how you could just tell their babies had no drugs in their bodies because they were so calm.

My daughter came into this world calmly. If things had not happened in the exact way they happened, I couldn't say that. I praise GOD for drugs and c-sections. I praise God for hospitals and doctors and the medical field that handled our surprise so beautifully. I praise God for His mercy and for our Mercy.

Perhaps the best plan for childbirth is no plan at all? Openness, readiness, and willingness. Drugs are ok, C-sections are not the enemy. You are doing yourself and your baby a disservice if your birth experience is for you and not your little one. Cherish whatever happens. Cherish God, who ordains whatever happens.

My opinions. I know you didn't ask. Your welcome. ;)

And here's a picture of my sweet Mercy just moments after our MOST incredible cesarean section.

How perfect is she????