Turning 30

I always had pictured in my head what it would be like to turn 30. I fully believed it would probably be one of the top 10 most traumatic days of my life. Not just my life up until then, but my life, my entire life. I think I felt like turning 30 would mean saying goodbye to my last bit of "youngness." I would no longer be a young adult, just an adult... a 30 year old adult. Ugh!

Well, today I turned 30... and I have to say, it has most definitely been the best birthday yet! Waking up this morning and seeing Mercy's sweet face all precious in her little sleeper next to our bed.... no, turning 30 wasn't so bad after all.

In fact, I think I'm going to like this next decade very much! Not only is today my big 30th birthday, but it's Mercy's one month anniversary of being home! Can't believe it's been a month! I was literally telling people this past week that she had been home for about a week and a half... Wrong! a MONTH! How did that happen??

The best part about all of this is that today marks the first of years and years of 'month anniversaries' with this precious gift being home with us. I can't imagine a better birthday blessing than the celebration of this little life we've been blessed with and her homecoming.

Our homecoming/birthday picture!

I love this passage, as I think about this next decade and reflect on the last 2 1/2 months...

Listen to me, you descendants of Jacob,

all the remnant of the people of Israel,

you whom I have upheld since your birth,

and have carried since you were born.

Even to your old age and gray hairs

I am he, I am he who will sustain you.

I have made you and I will carry you;

I will sustain you and I will rescue you.

Isaiah 46:3-4

January 18 was so unexpected, such a surprise that I never would have chosen for myself. I had such big plans for my pregnancy. None of them came to be... BUT the end result was perfect, exactly as it was planned from before the creation of the world... and although if asked beforehand I would never have chosen this journey, looking back on it now I wouldn't change it for anything. I'm SO grateful for each moment since January 18.

I don't know what this next decade will hold for us. I have such tendencies to want to control the outcome of all situations in my life. I'm learning how completely ridiculous that is, and my hope is that I can continue to draw from our experience with Mercy in the NICU and remember how God carried us through His good and perfect will for Mercy's first seven weeks... that I can completely rely on and trust in HIM to achieve His good and perfect will, that I would throw control out the window, toss my plans out with it, and let Him accomplish His plans for us... that I would accept surprises and hardships with complete trust in HIS control of the situation. I know that looking back on this next decade will reveal something awesome... that even when we are brought down a path we wouldn't have chosen, even to our old age and gray hairs, it is HE who will sustain us. He has made us and He will carry us; He will sustain us and He will rescue us... and He will sustain you too!

What an awesome promise! So looking forward to whatever lies ahead! 

So turning 30 wasn't at all what I expected. I don't feel all old and decrepit like I thought I would... I feel so full, so blessed, so ready and excited for what my 30's will hold!

Thank you for walking here with me! It has been a very awesome journey!