Six reasons I want to skip church this Christmas

I said to Chris the other day, "Do you think we should have birthday breakfast in bed for Jesus' on Christmas?"

He responded, "We'll have to figure out how we want to do Sunday, since church is at 10 this week."

My heart literally sank."Oh, that's right. Sunday."

Do y'all see the problem there?
I mean, is Jesus the reason for the season, or what?
Ugh... I think I have some work to do.

Mercy and Jaiden know all about the Santa character and they think he's great, but we don't do the actual Santa bringing gifts, naughty/nice list stuff. However, even without that little piece of Christmas cheer in our lives, I certainly can't lie and say I don't deal with other idols getting in the way of celebrating Jesus this time of year. For awhile my idol was, get ready, SANTA himself. More accurately, my idol was my commitment to not doing Santa. Unless Mariah Carey was singing about him, his name or face couldn't be found anywhere in our home (except that one year, but only if he was wearing hot pink instead of red.) And if I'm honest, it's pretty easy to go back there... Most December days I feel like Santa Claus has hijacked Christmas, St. Nicholas would be devastated and appalled to see what his legacy has become, as Santa and his elf continue to teach kids about moralism and being good for the sake of getting stuff, not for the sake of being grateful and being God's. So there's that bitterness harboring under my grinchy skin every December... and believe it or not, I've lightened up A LOT on that issue. What's poking it's head out much more often these days is the idol of my family, being sentimental, and creating traditions and memories... basically making this season look the way I want it to look as opposed to how Jesus would have it look. And just because His name is placed right where I want it to be in my plans and traditions, doesn't mean He is in them. As indicated by my clear disapproval of meeting Him at His house on His birthday.

So I'm writing this for myself, because I'm a mess... Because I need to be reminded of why we go to church, why we celebrate Christmas, and the awesome opportunity we have this year to enjoy these together.

So here it is...
Six reasons I want to skip church this Christmas, and why each one falls on it's face:

1. Because I want to have sweet family time.
    I hope that you have a church family like we do. This Christmas season has really been a time of reflection for me about the family I've been given in Louisiana and the opportunities we have to worship together... These people are a beautiful part of our lives. These people are not related to us, but they are our brothers and sisters. (Matthew 12:46-50) God is our Father, and we are the bride of Christ. When we attend church, we are in God's house with His family, with our family. How much sweeter does it get than spending birthday mornings with our family? This is a birthday sweeter than any other birthday we will celebrate. This is the day we celebrate the birth of the Savior, a baby boy who lived a perfect life, died on the cross and rose from the dead, making atonement for our sins, giving us the opportunity to be adopted into His family and celebrate this very day. Family time doesn't get sweeter than this.

2. Because the kids will be so distracted by everything they know is waiting for them at home.
   Y'all, our kids are SO excited to open all their gifts. I know their heads won't be at church... but I'm not convinced that's the point of bringing them this Sunday. Maybe this is an opportunity for them to see our heads and our hearts being there, even though their's won't be. What better way to show our kids that we believe what we say, "Jesus is the reason for the season?" On the other hand, if we skip church to open gifts and enjoy family traditions first thing in the morning, what will that show our kiddos about what we truly believe the reason is for the season? Not Jesus, that's for sure. Altering our regular Sunday morning routine of worshipping with our faith family, simply because it disrupts our Christmas traditions this year would show my kiddos the opposite of what we've been trying to teach them. Instead, that decision would very literally show them what it looks like to remove Christ from Christmas. We would be celebrating the nameless holiday the world has begun celebrating. It looks like Christmas, it's the same day as Christmas and it even acts a little like Christmas... but it's not Christmas.

3. Because we are going to church on Christmas Eve... So why go again Christmas Day? Let's take the day off!!
    So Christmas Eve isn't Christmas Day, right? If the reason I want to skip church this Christmas day is because I'm going to be there the night before, I might have a problem. I would never skip Chris's planned birthday dinner, and when he asked me about it, argue that I had dinner with him the night before and we talked about his birthday a lot. No. That would never ever ever happen. Never. And the real issue here? Have I really come to a point in my faith and life where worshipping God in His house two days in a row is just too much? Do I really need a day off of worship and gratitude?? Have I really begun to prioritize family over Jesus, who, by the way, is the only reason I have the family that I have?? Oh man... that is an ugly mess.

4. Because December 25th isn't Jesus' actual birthday, so I shouldn't feel obligated to go to church to celebrate it...
    Come. On. Is that a real thing? Is Easter Sunday (the day that changes dates every.single.year.) the actual day that Christ walked out of the tomb? No. It's the day we celebrate it. Here's the thing... the church body gathers together in worship every Sunday... <-- that gathering right there was on Sunday before Christmas day was on Sunday... So it isn't some big schedule shift for my family and I to go to church on Sunday. The awesome thing about this particular Sunday is that we get to do all those things we do every week with our faith family ON THE DAY WE CELEBRATE THE BIRTH OF OUR SAVIOR. That. Is. Awesome. I mean, it really is. And I think it's important for my kids to see me excited about the opportunity to enjoy the union of these two celebrations. After all, it's not happening again until 2022, Mercy will almost be ten and Jaiden will have just turned eight. After that, it'll be 2033 and they won't be quite so young and impressionable by then. This is one of very few opportunities that we have to show our kids that what we say about Christmas and keeping Christ at the forefront is actually how we live. And you know, God might just use this Sunday to plant a seed that might just take root and sprout and blossom and change the lives of our children and their children and their children. And maybe in 2033, when they're all grown up, they will decide for themselves to worship Jesus on His birthday with their faith family.

5. Because I don't want church to become an idol. I think we're treading a fine line here... I mean, church on Christmas day?? 
    Jesus, because of Who He is, cannot be an idol. He. Is. God. And there is no such thing as idolizing God. God is... well... GOD. And there's something about idols and God in the ten commandments... oh yeah. The first (and greatest) one (Exodus 20:1-3.) So the church is God's house, where His family meets to worship Him for Who He is and what He has done for us. Christmas is when we celebrate the birth of God's Son and as Christians, we are the bride of His Son. This opportunity to worship Jesus on His birthday, in His house, is a rarity. Let's not pass it up under the faulty reasoning that we are "making church an idol." Let's not go to church for church's sake, just being at church isn't the point of being there any Sunday of the year. If I'm going to church to worship Jesus in His house, then I'm convinced I am not making church an idol, because, again, Jesus cannot be idolized.

6. Because I don't want my kids to think they have to go to church to be saved.
    I know this isn't how we do Christianity in our house. This isn't Biblical and it's bad, ugly, moralistic, works-based non-sense. They know this isn't how we live out our faith, they know we don't go to church on Sundays to earn our salvation or their's, they know about their sin and they know what Jesus did on the cross. So... surely going to church on this one Sunday won't erase all of those truths they have learned in our home.... right? I mean that would be crazy... But if Mercy asks why we're going to church on Christmas, and I say, "Because it's Sunday so we have to," that might be a good step in that direction. So instead, I hope my answer this Sunday will look and sound more like, "Because it's Sunday! And it's Christmas on the same day!! Isn't that neat?? Let's go to church and worship and sing and dance and talk with our church family about how awesome it is that Jesus was born all those years ago so that we can celebrate Him together today!"

The bottom line is, in my original reasoning and defensiveness, my idols were being revealed to me, as well as my lack of commitment to what and Who I tell my kids that Christmas is about. And not only that, but also what I tell them regular Sunday morning worship is about. And don't think they aren't noticing just because they're two and three... Mercy listens to (and repeats... and remembers) every word that comes out of our mouths, and Jaiden is taking every bit of it in as well.

So while they're watching and listening so closely, Christmas this year is just such an amazing opportunity to make a big deal about Jesus, how many hours we have in the day, that all our gifts and traditions will still be at home in the afternoon, and that for these couple of hours, we are going to a big birthday bash!

And you know Santa would totally be there if he was, well... you know. 😉

What about you? What has God been revealing to your heart this Christmas?

A Thrill of Hope

I met my son for the first time two years ago today.

I'm not going to share the details of the how and where of that moment, but I will share this...
It was dark when I peaked in the back driver's side window of a social worker's car and the words that came out of my mouth still come out daily.

"Oh my goodness. His cheeks!"

His. Cheeks.
...and they have only gotten better and better.

It was a uniquely perfect day. The day we met the baby who would become our son.

I remember it like it was yesterday. The drive to pick him up, my phone call to my aunt on the way, the way I felt when I saw him, peeking back at him the whole drive home, introducing him to Mercy, the way she instantly fell in love with him, what we had for dinner with our good friend who stayed with Mercy, giving him his first bottle, and the snuggling that first night...

But one specific memory stands out when I think back... Grabbing him out of his carseat, kissing those amazing cheeks for the very first time, pressing his eight pound eight ounce frame tight against me... and that moment when my life fell together at the very same time that somebody else's fell apart.

Right in that second, our need for abundant HOPE became more clear than ever before. He needed hope, we needed hope, and his mama needed hope more than anything... because it was nine days before Christmas and she just lost her newborn son, and that had to feel pretty hopeless.

This year especially, as we approach our first Christmas with Jaiden as our son, having seen our hopes for our life with him come alive, I think I'm understanding the gift of hope in a new light.

The hope we have for Jaiden's life... It's not just there, something we pray about and experience peace through.... Our hope is thrilling. And it is every synonym of thrilling... Breathtaking. Exhilarating. Electrifying. Inspiring. Mind boggling. (merrian-webster.com) It's exciting, it lights up our hearts and fills us with joy. He has given us hope and made us understand it in a brand new light. In His light.

Because many years ago on a starry night in Bethlehem, He brought a newborn baby boy into the world. His boy, His only son, and that baby boy gave this weary world hope.

"Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in Christ with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places, even as he chose us in him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and blameless before him. In love he predestined us for adoption to himself as sons through Jesus Christ, according to the purpose of his will, to the praise of his glorious grace, with which he has blessed us in the Beloved. In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of our trespasses, according to the riches of his grace, which he lavished upon us, in all wisdom and insight making known to us the mystery of his will, according to his purpose, which he set forth in Christ as a plan for the fullness of time, to unite all things in him, things in heaven and things on earth."
Ephesians 1:3-10, emphasis added

When I read Paul's words about our adoption through Christ, I hear him defining the thrill of hope.
And in a year and month and day that so many feel weary, down, depressed and hopeless, how we need the thrilling hope that He gives us! Hope for every spiritual blessing. Hope that He chose us before the creation of the world. Hope that because of His Son Jesus, we will stand before Him one day, holy and blameless. Hope that we were predestined to become His children, adopted out of our sin, out of this weary world and into His glorious grace. Hope for the redemption found in the blood of His son, who He gave up, forgiving our sins and lavishing His grace upon us. This was His will, His perfect purpose for us, to unite His children to Himself for all of eternity, and friends... how thrilling is that??

Today I am praying the thrill of hope for my son's first mommy, even on this day that brings devastating memories and loads of guilt and regret. That she would look to Christ for the hope of redemption and that when she does she would experience His grace flowing over her, her soul feeling it's worth and knowing her position before Him. Holy. Blameless. Guiltless.

Today I am praying the thrill of hope for my son. That as he grows he will become acutely aware of his need for the riches of God's grace. That it would be God's will to adopt him into His eternal family, lavishing His grace upon him and making him an heir of the King.

Today I am praising God for showing us the thrill of hope through this child He brought to us two years ago. That he gave us an earthly experience of adoption so that we would understand on a deeper level how great our adoption into His family is. Completely undeserved, granted by the blood of His only son, and sealed for eternity. Redeemed, forgiven, adopted. And I'm praying that when we're weary we would remember this thrill, that our hope would become alive again, that Jesus would continually remind us of the eternity of hope that He provided for us on the cross.

Would you pray with us today and in the days leading up to the celebration of the thrill of the hope the Jesus? Would you pray for renewal in our hearts and yours? Would you pray that the thrill of hope would be found and clung to in the hearts of the children and families affected by foster care this Christmas?

"Long lay the world in sin and error pining
Till he appeared and the soul felt its worth.
A thrill of hope, the weary world rejoices
For yonder breaks a new and glorious morn!"
-O Holy Night

Merry Christmas, friends!
Thank you for all you do for us and how you have loved our family so well!

Foster Moms

Foster moms,

Two years ago I didn't know anything about you, what you were capable of, your level of perseverance, or the wide range of emotions your heart fought every day.
Two years ago I looked at you with admiration and anticipation...

Because two years ago I sat and I waited... and waited and waited and waited on the arrival of our first long-term foster placement.

Today that baby boy I was waiting to meet is much more than a long-term foster placement. He is my son. We experienced so much in the year and a half between the day we met him and the day he became our own. We cried, we loved, we grew in incredible ways as we were shown our sin, our lack of trust and the filthiness of the very core of our hearts. I can say without a doubt that foster care was used mightily in my life.. and used in so many ways beyond the gaining of my son. I would not have traded the hysterical crying or the fear that hovered in the background of everything we did. Not one minute of it. Because I knew that all of the hardships were worth it to the child who had been entrusted to our care, no matter how long his stay... and all of the fear involved in that very unknown is what God used most to teach me about His closeness. Closeness to a God who, because of my sin, I deserve to be so far separated from... as far as the east is from the west. But instead He drew me close to Him in those moments of deep sin, fear, and hatefulness. Instead He removed my sin from me... as far as the east is from the west (Psalm 103:10-12). He called us to and guided us through foster care, keeping us close by Him every step. Our fostering journey wasn't easy, it was anything but ordinary... it was painful, it was beautiful, it was just as it was meant to be.

And on June 1, 2016 our journey ended, and that precious eighteen month old boy became my son.

What a blessing my walk through the trenches brought me, as the King led me step by step to my sweet son. Jaiden has made me a more compassionate, loving, patient, flexible and certainly more active and attentive mommy. I just can't picture our family without him in it. He is an Ellzey, through and through. He loves his sister like crazy, he is a daddy's boy, no doubt, but when the thunder is just loud enough, he climbs right up in my lap and hugs my neck so tight and sweet. Yes... life has become comfortable in our neck of the woods. Today, my life looks crazy, active, fun, overflowing with hugs and kisses and love... and very, very comfortable.

Foster moms,
Today as I sit in my comfort, I am gazing in awe at your strength, your trust, your perseverance and resolve as you walk a path of unknowns. I've walked in your shoes, and I know your lives look very different than mine does right now. And if I'm honest, when I see the faith you are walking in, some days I miss those shoes that felt very ill-fitting most of the time. I miss them because of the way they made me reach for my Father's hand every minute of every day. I miss them because they consistently reminded me of my utter need for a Savior. I miss them because they taught me compassion for a group of broken and hurting parents toward whom I had never felt any emotion past anger. I miss them because they showed me my shortcomings as a mother and as a child of God and in turn brought me so very close to Him.

And I miss them because they were made purposefully by Him, specifically for me... and while they often felt ill-fitting, they were the perfect fit. He bent down into my mess, He placed them on my feet, held out His hand, and He told me to walk.

Into the unknown. Into the trenches.

Foster moms,
You are in the trenches, in the muck and the mire, in the sadness and devastation that sin has brought into this world.

Foster moms,
You are on the royal highway, walking hand in hand with the King, hearing His very voice, feeling His firm grip pull you through those trenches that He created your feet to walk through. He created YOU, foster mom, with that child or those children in mind. He set these moments in motion and placed you together for the specific span of time that only He knows... and your trust in His sovereignty to give you love and compassion and peace and grace and mercy... that will stick with the families and children He has placed in your care much longer than you could possibly know.

Don't take these days for granted. Don't let yourself forget the most joyful moments or even the most painful ones, don't let one minute slip from your memory. Hold onto the closeness He has drawn you into and don't let it go when your journey ends. Because when things get comfortable, it's easy to forget how much we need to be close to Him every day. Even on the easy days.

And can we be honest? Even our easiest, most comfortable days often look pretty ugly. And the worst place to be is in our own trenches we dug for ourselves, without the King's hand guiding us and pulling us through them.

Foster moms,
Two years ago I didn't know anything about you, what you were capable of, your level of perseverance, or the wide range of emotions your heart fought every day.
I know now...
...and today I look at you with far more admiration than I did two years ago.

Thank you for the role you are playing in my life as I watch the Lord work through you for the sake of His children. Thank you for being vulnerable, for loving children and their families the very same way Christ has loved you and for revealing Him to each person you share your journey with.

Thank you for reminding me of His closeness, today and every day.

"If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea,
even there your hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast."
Psalm 139:9&10