This Is Why: Because He Said Yes

Foster care...

Why did we say yes to foster care?

Here's the simple answer to a not so simple question:

We said "Yes!" because He said "YES!"

I mentioned in the previous post the condition of my heart being revealed hard and fast... it's ugly. As filthy and murky as can be.

So, question... have you ever found yourself thinking you've learned it all, not much growing left to do, conquered your toughest sins...? I've heard others say it and I've felt it myself, even when I didn't realize it... the belief that we've overcome our greatest sins and the only thing we need to work on is the small stuff... I gossip here and there, sometimes I worry a little, I was short with my husband the other day, I should be a little more patient with the kids...

Oh, how deeply sinful to have even considered this... The small stuff?? Is the gossip on a different level than the selfish desire for my own happiness over other's? Is worrying here and there any better than the intense distrust in the Savior's plan for my family and our foster son's family? Is the impatience less to my God than the deeply rooted hatefulness that I have begun to recognize in myself as I have grown to love the children and teenagers in foster care over the last several years? Have any of us really ever been 'over' the need for growth and the cleansing of our hearts??

This filthy, murky heart... How could anyone love it? How could anyone desire it? How could anyone sacrifice Himself in order to make this heart His own?

I don't know how, I don't know why... I know that when this girl with her ugly heart was an orphan of this world, He said, "YES!"

"You see, at just the right time, when we were still powerless, Christ died for the ungodly. Very rarely will anyone die for a righteous person, though for a good person someone might possibly dare to die. But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us."
Romans 5:6-8

At just the right time, while I was still a sinner, AM still a sinner.
Christ died for ME!

He said yes! He changed everything! My status, my family, my future. He promised me His own inheritance, and an eternal home with HIM! (See Adoption: An Easter Story for teaching on these specific topics)

"See what great love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are!"
1 John 3:1a

Children of God. No. Longer. Orphans.

And what does He ask of us?

To live a life of gratitude, to walk in His footsteps (1 John 2:6)... pick up our cross and follow Him (Luke 9:23&24). How could we say no when He prompted our hearts to care for these children in the foster care system?

He stepped in when our futures were hopeless. We must step in for these, His, children and their families when their own futures are uncertain at best.

We MUST be willing to hurt, to cry, to sacrifice ourselves for the least of these and pray for victory in the lives of all involved.

And believe me, I cry. I just finished wiping my messy, ugly tears a minute ago...

But after I cry and after the fear in my frightened heart subsides, I have to smile. I know this pain means beauty, celebration for a mama who has hurt far worse than me.

Victory, friends. Has there ever been a greater victory than the cross? The moment we became children of the most high God?

Never.

The moment this baby is united forever with his mama and daddy and they begin a new and beautiful life together... That will be a glimpse of the victory we were given on the cross, a glimpse that will grow my gratitude and my understanding of my own reunification with my Father, a glimpse that will leave me changed. Forever.

We must choose victory. He chose it for us and we must choose it for these families in the foster care system.

We said "Yes" because He said "Yes," friends.

Has the Lord prompted your heart to care for His children? Will you pray about saying "Yes" to His call?

Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in the heavenly realms with every spiritual blessing in Christ. For he chose us in him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in his sight. In love he predestined us for adoption to sonship through Jesus Christ, in accordance with his pleasure and will— to the praise of his glorious grace, which he has freely given us in the One he loves. In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, in accordance with the riches of God’s grace that he lavished on us.
Ephesians 1:3-8


**This post is part of a series of posts aiming to answer the question, "Why did you choose foster care?" If any of these words or these posts spark an interest in your heart to consider foster parenting, please contact me or visit crossroadsnola.org/foster-care for information about fostering in the St. Tammany Parish and New Orleans area.**

This Is Why: an introduction

Several months ago, before our foster son ever filled our home and our hearts, I began writing a series of blog posts that would attempt to answer one simple question:

Why?

What I have learned on this journey so far is just how simple this question is NOT.

After we became certified last October and even after baby boy arrived in December, I couldn't even answer that question for myself. I thought I could, but I was wrong. Only after the INTENSE work the Lord has done on my heart can I even begin to answer that "simple" question.

There have been a lot of emotions over the last four months that I hope to write about one day. Looking back on the posts I began writing all those months ago... my heart was in an ugly place. I know the Lord put the brakes on those posts. I wasn't ready. I was in an emotional, bitter and frightened place.

And, if I'm honest... many days I'm still in that place. The difference between then and now is the clarity I've received, my eyes being opened WIDE to the condition of my heart and the sanctifying and refining work that has begun. I didn't even know, I was blind...

But now... I think I'm ready to begin mulling through the reasons we said "YES!" to foster care.

I think this series will be a continual work in progress as I'm still growing and learning daily about the reasons we have been chosen for this journey.

I think the question "Why?" means something different for every person who asks us.

For some, it's "Why risk your heart?"

For others it's "Why now?"

"Why not domestic newborn adoption? International adoption?" "Why put your daughter through that?" "Your family will change so much, why jump out of a perfectly good airplane?" "Why the added stress? You know how 'those kids' can be." "Why not try for more of your own first? Then decide if you want somebody else's later, when yours are grown."

Oh... so many questions. I know a lot of this is curiosity, a lot of it is a lack of understanding of who foster kids are and what the system is like. Maybe this series will give you some clarity, maybe it will give me some clarity. Maybe it will spark an interest that has been hiding in your heart to consider foster parenting...

I certainly don't mind answering questions...

But before I start, let me go ahead and let you know what this series will not do:

This series will not be specific to our current foster situation. I will draw from this experience and our past respite and group home experience, but every situation is different, and I will not share specifics about our foster son, his parents, why he is in care, etc. It's their story only. Please respect the individuals involved in this journey and just. don't. ask.

This series will not aim to guilt you into considering foster care or adoption. We know this is a calling that not everybody has been given. While we firmly believe each and every one of us has been called to care for orphans, we know there are many many faces of orphan care, this is only one. And even in the world of foster care there are many faces of orphan care that don't involve bringing a child into your home temporarily or long term. I would LOVE to share these options, and will dedicate a post to these other options very soon!

So... with these things in mind and with my emotions and brain in a some type of "readiness" mode, welcome to the "This Is Why" series! I hope it answers some questions for ALL of us.



**This post is part of a series of posts aiming to answer the question, "Why did you choose foster care?" If any of these words or these posts spark an interest in your heart to consider foster parenting, please contact me or visit crossroadsnola.org/foster-care for information about fostering in the St. Tammany Parish and New Orleans area.**