Five years ago I sat in a courtroom and basically begged a judge not to put me on a jury for a child pornography case. He asked if I could make an unbiased decision about the guilt of the man sitting before me. I said no. I've know too many young children, aged 2 to 16, who have been violently raped and abused. I knew I couldn't look at this man with unbiased eyes. After I was chosen and sat with a group of men and women in the deliberation room, several of them remarked that they couldn't believe I was picked having been so honest about my history with children exposed to sexual violence. Whatever... I was chosen. And I swear I would have sat in that deliberation room for months with those two dummies who claimed this man was not guilty beyond reasonable doubt. I could never let my mind stop assuming they too were perpetrators. Why else would they fight so hard for this man who was CLEARLY guilty? Thankfully, we needed ten out twelve guilty's and we had that. So. Guilty he was. One day of my life very well spent putting a child sex offender behind bars. I left and thought I was done. Ugh. I wasn't done. I'm still not done with that stupid case. I still remember his face, it'll never go away. I remember his name, sometimes I hear his last name and wonder if it's a relative and if they have similar habits. I find it hard not to judge them based solely on their last name. I know that's wrong, but I can't stop my mind from going there... Even worse are the images that have haunted me since that day. The videos and photos they found on his computer. Why did they show us?? I know why... but really, WHY? They are still as vivid as they were in plain view on the screen in front of us. I don't always see them, but every now and then something reminds me and I see them. Those girls, objects of violent sexual abuse, exposed for the world to see, horrendous things being done to them that you wouldn't wish on your worst enemy.... and I weep for them, and I wish I could forget, but I know that I won't. I can't. Before I saw them I didn't know. I didn't know their faces or how to pray for their safety. I didn't want to believe it was really happening, but it is. I can't deny it and turn a blind eye anymore. I've seen it, and I'm changed because of it.
...and I think that's why this whole Fifty Shades of Grey thing is really getting to me. I've read all the blogs about why we shouldn't read these books or see this movie... God, our husbands, ourselves... And I get it, and I won't read the books or see the movie for those reasons and I'll share those blogs because they're awesome. But something else has been nagging at me that those blogs aren't writing about...
It's that girl. One specifically, I can close my eyes and see her frightened face. She must have been 8 or 9 years old. She did not choose to be tied up, a victim of the sadist who held her hostage and did unthinkable things to her. She didn't ask for her body to be displayed for the pleasure of perverse men and women around the globe, she was just a little girl... who's childhood and innocence were stolen from her for perverse pleasure and a quick penny. Who's life, even after rescue, will never be the same due to the violence she has endured.
This was a child under the control of a sadist, a person who has the condition of sadism, in which one receives sexual gratification from causing pain and degradation to another (dictionary.com).
And she's not alone. She's just one of hundreds of thousands of women who have been trafficked and sold into sex slavery and are held hostage today by sadists in your city and around the globe and about another 300,000 a year who have been victims of sexual assault. This is not ok. This is not a light subject matter for us to find interesting and intriguing and seek pleasure from. These women need a voice. OUR voice.
So friends, please, before you take part in this lunacy, I beg you to reconsider. If not for God or your husband or yourself, please reconsider for your sisters... the women and children around the globe who have been sold into sex slavery and are subject to the very same sexual violence enacted by the sadist in this film. Please don't make light of the circumstances they did not choose for themselves. Please don't normalize sexual brutality. And please, PLEASE don't give financially to the promotion and glorification of this violent behavior.
Instead, I challenge you to make a sacrifice for hope. Maybe you read the books and have been highly anticipating the movie. Maybe you've seen the previews and are considering buying the books before you see the movie. Make the sacrifice. Just. Don't. Do. It. It won't be worth it, you won't forget what you've seen, it'll affect you in ways you don't even realize, but don't make this sacrifice for yourself. Make if for your sisters who are in sex slavery right now, probably in your own city. I'll be donating the $12 I won't be spending on the film and the $28 I won't be spending on the books to a local home that offers hope and healing to young women who have been rescued from sex slavery. I encourage you to look into local options or global campaigns such as Not For Sale and sacrifice the money you would have given to this promotion of sexual violence to ENDING sexual violence. If we stand together against this evil, we can make a difference. Let's fight for the rights of these women and children who's innocence and lives have been stolen by men like Christian Grey and by communities like those who worship him.
Don't allow this garbage any space in your brain. Combat it with truth:
I appeal to you therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship. Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.
Romans 12:1-2
Through him then let us continually offer up a sacrifice of praise to God, that is, the fruit of lips that acknowledge his name. Do not neglect to do good and to share what you have, for such sacrifices are pleasing to God.
Hebrews 3:15-16
Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.
Philippians 4:8
Here's a quick list of organizations serving sexually exploited women and children, and victims of sexual assault, there are links to donate right on the home pages:
For my Georgia folks: Rape Response
South Louisiana: Free Indeed Home
Global: Not For Sale
Know of an organization I need to add to this list? Let me know in the comments and I'll add it. I'd love to see this list grow and show the colors of hope for these women around the world.