Love & Sex Secrets

Let me tell you a little about the girls in our youth ministry.... they are actually amazing, really super cool girls. So cool, in fact, that it's hard for me to understand why they enjoy ME so much! Haha, that's just the grace of God in my life! But really, these are 12-18 year old girls who really get what it means to love God. The way they love the Lord is so sweet and beautiful. They are an absolutely amazing blessing to me, and I love them with all my heart. Each one is a big monster droplet straight from His magnificent sprinkler!!

That said, in our Girl's Group on Tuesday nights, the topics of love and sex often come up. They have such a grasp on the importance of waiting, and why they are called to wait, it blows my mind! I really have quite a wide spectrum of situations in the group with me, from the ones who have never had boyfriends, to the ones who have reclaimed their virginity, and have INCREDIBLE testimonies of redemption that encourage the younger girls.

I couldn't be prouder of these girls, or more in awe of who they are and Who they serve! If I had a magazine that went out to thousands of teenagers in America every month, and I wanted to put an article in there on love and sex, written by teenagers for teenagers, these are definitely the people I would get to write it.......

Unfortunately, I don't... and it's left to magazines like Seventeen and Cosmo to advise the thousands of kids who read them about love and sex.

Wednesday at work I picked up the February issue of Seventeen Magazine, a magazine for teenagers, high schoolers, seventeen year olds! Something on the cover caught my eye, so I immediately flipped to page 94 and started reading:

Love & Sex Secrets

(no one ever tells you)

Everyone is talking about it - yet so much is left unsaid.

When your head and your heart are totally

confused, let these reader confessions guide you.

In the next six pages, I found myself literally horrified at what I was reading. I found lots of advice for teenagers about how to most enjoy the experience and not regret it. I read about a teenager who gave up on trying to wait until marraige and has found that sex is a fun and pleasurable part of her relationship. One girl explained the details of how she and her boyfriend planned and got away with it without their parents finding out. Another girl and her boyfriend broke up after he moved away, but she expresses that they made a mature decision together, and she wouldn't have wanted her first time to be with anyone else. There was one small section on the last page called "Why I'm Waiting." The three reasons mentioned: "I don't want to get pregnant," "I'm waiting until marraige," and "I want to be in love."  The three sentences dedicated to the 17 year old who stated that she is waiting for marraige are the only time this idea is mentioned in the entire article. Only briefly does the article discuss pregnacy or heartache, and not even once does it mention the dangers of sex and STD's.

In the entire article, there was not a single sentence encouraging teenagers to be careful, much less to wait until marriage.

I feel very strongly about this because I'm with teenage girls constantly, and I've seen the ramifications of sex before marraige. I've seen the STD's, pregnancy's, the heartbreak and the walls that the decision builds between the teenager and her Creator. I know this isn't a Christian magazine in any way, but this type of article in a magazine for children should not be tolerated from a Christian or a secular perspective.

Whether you're a teenager, a mom, or somewhere in between I'm writing this to encourage you to take a stand with me. Write a letter to the editor, cancel your subscription if you have one, be a light to the teenagers in your life, don't allow magazines, tv, movies, or any of today's culture get away with being the only voice they hear when it comes to sex.

E-mail the editors of Seventeen Magazine about the Love and Sex segment in the February Issue at mail@seventeen.com

Articles like this are so discouraging, so much of this worldly world we live in is discouraging, but I live and find peace in the comfort Jesus Christ gives us when He assures us:

"Take heart! I have overcome the world!"

John 16:33

Embracing Stage Fright

Trust in the LORD with all your heart,

and do not lean on your own understanding.

In all your ways acknowledge him,

and he will make straight your paths.

Be not wise in your own eyes;

fear the LORD, and turn away from evil.

It will be healing to your flesh

and refreshment to your bones.

Proverbs 3:5-8

So, a few weeks ago I had to go to this class in Baton Rouge with some coworkers. It was somewhat of a traumatizing experience for me... Those of you who know me really well will completely understand this... Near the end of the class the words "role-play" came up... I immediately felt my heart rate increase, and feelings of intense dread and fear began to take over as the time drew closer and closer. Really... I know sometimes I over-dramatize things, this is not an over-exaggeration in the least... I told my group members that if they chose me to do the role-play I would break out in a sweat and walk out, ha! Pathetic, right? Well... the time came, and they all looked at me to go up there!!! This is embarrassing... I adamantly shook my head "no," and actually got wispy like I was gonna cry! I was SO embarrassed, but it was like I had no control over the fear that overcame my body and mind... Now I can laugh about it... A LOT... but in that moment, I just sat there and counted the seconds until the class would end and I could get away from these people who saw how weak and afraid I was... Haha, oh man, I guess my shyness hasn't completely escaped me just yet... Gosh, remember when I used to actually not talk at all...? to anyone?? I've come a long way, for sure.... but I just can't seem to get rid of that pesky stage fright...

A couple of days after the traumatizing experience, Chris and I were listening to Lecrae's newest CD, and these lyrics played:

I could play the background
Cause I know sometimes I get in the way
So won't You take the lead?

It's evident You run the show, so let me back down
You take the leading role, and I'll play the background
I know I miss my cues, know I forget my lines
I'm sticking to Your script, and I'm reading all Your signs
I don't need my name in lights, I don't need a starring role
Why gain the whole wide world, If I'm just gonna lose my soul

Yeah, so if you need me I'll be stage right
Praying the whole world will start embracing stage fright
So let me fall back, stop giving my suggestions
'Cause when I follow my obsessions, I end up confessing
That I'm not that impressive...............

I started thinking about my stage fright problem in the realm of my faith... maybe it's not such a bad thing.... (of course, the whole 'fear of man' issue involved in the role-play scenario is a whole different email, ha!)

Recently, I've been miserable at work, overwhelmed and burnt out in a big way... I've had several interviews and ideas of ways to get myself out of there, and I've found myself asking God often... "Why am I a receptionist...? I know this isn't my calling, and I KNOW I didn't graduate from Mercer with a degree in psychology so I could answer phones at a Honda dealership! When are You gonna get me out of here????" It's as if I think I could do it better on my own... I mean, I have lots of really great ideas... I spend a lot of time formulating different things I could do, and how to accomplish them... I would LOVE to be a stay-at-home wife, and focus my energy on serving Chris and helping him with the youth ministry... I spend A LOT of time trying to convince him that MY IDEAS are the right ideas....

...and for some reason, I'm still at Honda... answering phones. What could be the cause of this...?

I know, oh Lord, that a man’s life is not his own;
it is not for man to direct his steps.

Jeremiah 10:23

I know that there is some beautiful purpose for my being at Honda... Can't I rest in that? I actually know a good bit of why He directed me there, He has done incredible things in my life and the lives of others since I started, and has brought some of the most amazing people I know into my life. I've actually seen lives change for Him that wouldn't have changed if He hadn't brought me to Honda! In one case, He introduced us to somebody, Chris and I showed her a webpage, she went to Camp Eagle and was used to introduce high school students to Jesus last summer. Would that have happened if I hadn't followed God and gone to Honda?? What a blessing it has been to see the fruit He has produced through something that seems pointless and that 'I don't like.' I'm so grateful for that!

I love that verse up there. I love how plainly it displays that my life is not my own. It's become my daily prayer that I can live that verse out in my life... that I can take the background, and let God take the lead... Cause I KNOW that if I were to take the lead and actually get to write out the way I want my life to go, I would totally get in the way of His work, less people would know Him, and I wouldn't know Him as well as I do today.

I'm so good at stage fright... I'm trying to become just as good at it from an eternal perspective...

What would happen if every time we tried to push God to the side and take control of our own lives, we had the physical symptoms of stage fright... our heart rate increased, we broke out in a cold sweat, cried and ran the opposite direction...? I bet we would make a lot of different decisions for our lives.

The funny thing is, often He makes it so very clear what He would have us do in different circumstances. We've just become so confident in our own ability to do this life, that we don't pick up on it at all...

Will you pray with me this year to begin embracing stage fright? How our lives will change, and the lives of those God puts our paths, when we take the background and follow HIM where He leads us.

So... on another note, it's already looking like this is going to be an incredibly blessed 2011 for Chris and me! It is SO MUCH FUN to see Him work all around us and in the lives of the students He's blessed us with. I'm so excited for the possibilities and because of your faithful prayers and how the Lord has used each of you, I'm excited to keep all of you in the loop! Actually... I'm trying to start a blog to do just that... I know, I know... it's a little bandwagon-y, and I try not to jump on those, but I love reading them, and if I can make the commitment, I think I'll love writing one too! If you want to follow it, you can find it at hismagnificentsprinkler.blogspot.com.

Each of you has played such an awesome part in my life, thank you so very much for loving us and praying for us the way that you have.

Love you all so much!

His,

Anna Kathryn

"I thank my God every time I remember you!

In all my prayers for all of you, I always pray with joy!"

Philippians 1:3&4