Does God know better than we do what is best for each of us?
Sometimes I amaze myself when I hear myself praying, as if God needs my advice.
I try so hard to explain to Him what I consider to be a very seasoned and informed perspective,
and suddenly, it's as if I hear my Father say,
'Really?'
and I think, "Oh actually, you probably understand the situation far better than I do, don't you?
Sorry Dad. You do whatever you think is best and I know it will be best."
Isn't it awesome how the Lord orchestrates everything? Everything we see, hear, read...? I've been reading this great book called Adopted, where the founder of Wears Valley Ranch, Jim Wood, compares the adoption of his three Ukranian children to Christ's adoption of us into His eternal family. It's phenominal, an awesome comparison... Anyways, I'm nearing the end of the book, trying to finish before I have to return it to it's owners this weekend... and yesterday as I read the paragraph I began this email with, I really didn't think twice about what it could mean in my life and the current situation I'm observing...
Today, it's making total sense...
Yesterday, I thought I knew how court would go... This child and her sisters have had the same judge for over a year, the judge knows the situation and the girls... the therapist, the state, the foster family, everyone was on board about this child's situation, whether or not right now is a good time for her to be with her sister's who have a very negative influence on her in their current instability... whether or not she needs to complete the program at the group home so that they can find therapuetic foster care for her... and her therapist and everyone involved was ready for the backlash from the child when she would hear the judges ruling.
As I prayed yesterday for safety in her reaction to the news, and even as I prayed for His will to be done, I definitely had something different in mind... The regular judge was out, and the judge who filled in ruled that in a month, if she can keep it together, they'll meet again and she'll go home to be with her sisters. This is what she prayed for yesterday... that she would be given a second chance to get to live with her sisters... I prayed that she would be safe and the Lord would use her reaction to put in place another piece of her life puzzle. It looks like God said, "OK" to both of us. She called last night, she sounded great, her reaction to the news was awesome, she was totally safe, and she still has the opportunity to live with her sisters.
You'd think I would be so overwhelmed with excitement and great emotions... Did He not answer every one of my prayers for her? I never prayed for court to go one way or another, I thought there was only one way it could go. He heard everyone of our prayers, and He answered them to perfection! But part of me can't help but wonder... Is this what's best for this child? I don't think so... often, when she spends time with her sister's, it seems like she goes off the emotional deep end... Do I know what's best for this child? I'd like to think so... I'd like to think I could "explain to Him what I consider to be a very seasoned and informed perspective."
"Suddenly, it's as if I hear my Father say, 'Really?' and I think, 'Oh actually, you probably understand the situation far better than I do, don't you?'"
Of course! Now I get it! He does understand, it's me who doesn't... He knows completely what's best for her... How would I know? I love this child with all of my heart and soul, and I hope she's part of our lives forever in whatever capacity He allows... But that doesn't mean I know best. For now, it looks like we'll get to play a role of support, prayer and encouragement as she moves on... And I'll continue to pray that the Lord uses her reactions to the events He orchestrates in her life to better her and that she will be a witness of His grace to her sisters.
What a life lesson the last two days have been for me! Gotta step back, AK, and remember you're not in charge! Don't we all have this reaction in the day to day circumstances we encounter? Instead of, "Can You do it this way, so I'll have peace in this situation?" let's practice taking a step back and praying, "Your will be done," I think He will certainly honor that prayer and give us peace as well!
Thank you all for your prayers yesterday, He heard them and came through, as He always does!
I love you all, appreciate your friendships and thank you for journeying with me through these times of learning!
His,
Anna Kathryn
"I thank my God everytime I remember you!
In all my prayers for all of you, I always pray with joy!"
Philippians 1:3&4
